Have you ever noticed how some people just give off good energy? Maybe you feel lighter around them or a little more seen, and you can’t really explain why you suddenly have a newfound pep in your step.
As much as we’d like to think that good vibes come naturally to these people, that’s actually not the case. According to relationship experts who have studied happy people (and unhappy people) forever, happy people with crazy-good energy took a few lessons early in life and kept living them until – voila! – those lessons became what they are.
Experts say happy, high-energy people grew up learning these simple lessons:
1. How to be curious
Happy people with good energy are curious about other people. In social situations, people are drawn to those who want to know something about them, quite simply, so asking questions and being interested in someone’s answer sets these people apart. Too many people go on and on about themselves as if the other person is just there to be their audience, but we can learn so much by listening to others with genuine curiosity.
— Mary Kay CocharoLMFT, MS, counsellor/therapist
2. How to remember details
Nate Johnston / Unsplash
Having a good memory is one of the small habits of happy people with good energy — they tend to remember what someone’s concerns and interests are, no matter how small. They’re the type of people who ask about your aunt’s illness or an obscure detail you mentioned once, proving that they not only have a sharp memory, but that they’re actually listening, not just hearing.
— Ruth SchimelPh.D., Career & Life Mgt. Consultant, author
3. How to come from a place of authentic kindness
Cultivating a habit of kindness is often found in happy people with the best energy. Kindness is more than just a series of benevolent acts; it is a mindset that reflects deep empathy and a true understanding of the human condition. When you consistently show kindnessone does not just perform good deeds; you signal a rare and deep emotional intelligence.
This includes connecting with others on a deep level to understand and share their feelings and navigating the complex web of human emotions with grace and understanding for others. This approach to life endears you to others and fosters a sense of mutual respect where positive relationships can thrive.
— Clare WaismannWaismann method and Domus Retreat founder
4. How to practice what you preach
People automatically dislike hypocritesbut cut a lot of slack for people who follow the same advice in their lives that they give to others. Being true to yourself isn’t just great for your mental health; it also makes you a happier person.
Practicing what you preach is a quality that others also admire. As we’ve all seen, people who tell you how to live when their own lives are built on lies quickly fall out of favor.
— Dr. Gloria BramePh.D., therapist and author
The happiest people with the best energy in the room are those who approach every social interaction with genuine curiosity. This curiosity helps us remember the concerns and interests of others, so we are more able to make an emotional connection with other people.
When kindness is your authentic mindset and words match actions, you can’t help but sparkle with happiness and ‘vibes’, as the kids say, in the minds of friends, colleagues and strangers alike.
Will Curtis is YourTango’s expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality and human interests.
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