Bella Hadid shares a very candid message with her fans.
On Thursday (June 25), the 29-year-old model took her out Instagram story to talk about the mental toll of living with a chronic illness as she described a flare-up related to her diagnosis of Lyme disease, which she has struggled with for more than 15 years.
“I haven’t been able to shake this flare-up… Slept 11 hours. Again… Naps every day. I’ve followed every protocol from every doctor I’ve seen. Still nothing helps. IFYKY,” Bella wrote about a selfie of herself crying. “Now I’ve discovered twelve other things about myself, so that’s good.”
“And today is not the day to tell me to journal. And yes, I drank water. And no, I didn’t go for a walk because I walked to the kitchen out of breath,” she continued. “I don’t think there’s one brain cell in there that works and my last two are fighting each other, so I’m sorry if I ever told you on a bad day to keep a diary, I take it back and I’m sorry.”
‘I showered without fainting’ Bella added, “So again, if you know that you know… that felt like a really big achievement for me today, so maybe someone can send me a cookie or something.”
She then shared a much longer message explaining how “intimidating” it is to explain her symptoms of pain, exhaustion, fatigue, anxiety, brain fog, infections and trauma, and how these lead “to severe isolation and depression, especially over long periods of time.”
I wish it wasn’t so intimidating and difficult to explain the pain/exhaustion/fatigue/anxiety/brain fog/insecurities that come with chronic illness/co-infections/mental health/trauma/etc. This leads to severe isolation and depression, especially over long periods of time… especially if you try everything you can. you learn about your symptoms, read books, read other people’s stories, try to self-diagnose as you demand answers that no one can find. You fight. Finally you have a few good days. You think you’ve found the right protocol, the right routine, the right treatment… and then another flare-up comes along and suddenly nothing feels certain anymore. Back to canceling plans, back to the inability to make decisions because you never know how you’ll feel from day to day. You wake up with fear already living in your body. Physical pain before your feet even touch the ground… And somehow you still have to find the strength to get through another day with a body and mind completely exhausted. Masking feelings that you can’t even explain. Sometimes it feels like it’s impossible to fully understand unless you’ve experienced something like that, or loved someone who has.
So if you are reading this and silently fighting a battle that no one else can see, I want you to know that I see you… There is light, even if you can’t see it today… There is hope, I feel it sometimes, even when I am at my lowest… as so many have said… I have to remind myself that healing is not linear… I believe that somehow God puts before us only what we can bear, even if we don’t understand why at the time. I know that all things in life have a deeper purpose, and through experiences, good or bad, there is a silver lining. sometimes it’s hard to find…but I truly believe that every hardship leaves us with a lesson, a deeper compassion, or a strength we didn’t even know we had. It leads us to the places, people and experiences we have now. I am so grateful for life, but without living in a body that has more hard days than good days…. it’s hard to find joy, purpose or reason to even go outside…but we’ll keep trying! always! anyway. I just wanted to come here to say, to anyone who struggles like I do, or in their own unique way, you are loved. You are needed. Your life has a purpose. And you will get through whatever season life throws at you. I love you and hold you deeply.
She also re-shared a story a friend recently sent her Orabella fragrances and merchandise.
“Even when I’m down… Seeing my best friends from far away getting little gifts from me, at least to be with them in spirit when I’m not feeling well, and then on top of that seeing how much hard work my wonderful team does for me and my dreams…” she wrote. “It makes me emotional…thank you to my tribe for keeping me afloat.”
Bella concluded sharing her flare-ups by sharing a photo of a deer hopping around in the woods, writing, “Hi, I’m sorry if I scared anyone. I know it sounds shocking, but in all truth it’s my reality so it’s something I can deal with to a degree now. I’m sorry if I scared anyone. This has really been a daily ebb and flow for me for the past 15 years. I just had an overwhelming amount of emotions because I didn’t understand things could do.” my mind is able to do, but my body is not able to do.”
Every day is a new day and tomorrow, God willing, I hope will be a better one,” she continued. ‘I love you very much, thank you for all your support. I didn’t expect it, but I’m really grateful. I love you guys so much.”
Back in 2023, Bella shared one update on her health after several months out of the spotlight and undergoing intensive treatment.
Posted on:Bella Hadid
Leave a Reply