Like I’m teetering on the edge of what many consider an important milestone in life (40 years old), I feel reflective. I look at people in a cafe. I see people of different styles, shapes and compositions strolling by and hurrying to work. Many are lost in thought.
It is difficult to assess what is happening in their lives. But these people probably experience life completely differently from each other. We can have the same job, but one is miserable and the other is happy. Knowing why this is comes from philosophy, specifically certain philosophies of life that put some people one (or two, or twenty-seven) steps ahead while others falter.
Here are the life philosophies of people who always seem one step ahead of everyone else:
1. ‘The fastest way to misery is to overthink and underact’
Intuition will tell you what to do, but will not give you a reason. Your ego will give you the direction to go, giving you a million reasons to do so. It’s a regular one human tendency to overestimate our abilities.
e.g. a study found that 80 percent of drivers rate themselves above average: a statistical impossibility. This is also seen in how people rate their popularity and cognitive skills.
The real problem arises when people, due to incompetence, not only make wrong decisions and draw wrong conclusions, but also fail to recognize their mistakes. This lack of awareness can lead to serious consequences.
2. ‘An unbalanced body feeds unnecessary anxiety’
To maintain harmony in your body, the best thing you can do is to avoid stimulants. Energy drinks marketed as physical and mental enhancers contain stimulants such as guarana and caffeine and is known to have worrisome cardiovascular side effectsincluding cardiac arrhythmia and arterial hypertension.
3. ‘Don’t sacrifice yourself to spare someone’s feelings’
Our daily lives consist of absorbing unrealistic expectations from the media of how we should look and how our romantic relationships should be. It’s not that strange our social media is just a presentation of who we think we should be and not a reflection of who we are. So instead of letting fear drive our self-expression, we must learn to accept ourselves as we are. The truth is a people-pleaser every single time – don’t lose what makes you you you, trying to keep everyone happy.
4. ‘Someone will always seem to do better than you’
Nolan Manning / Unsplash
It’s easy to fall into comparing yourself to others and feel low as a result. But we are all on our way. What someone else does has nothing to do with you, so mind your own business and stay on your path. We all face our unique obstacles. Sure, look to others for inspiration, but if you feel worse by comparison, put on some blinders and get back to doing your thang, baby.
5. ‘Your life becomes easier when you stop expecting it to be easy’
Whether it’s your friends or family, we are constantly let down by those we care about (and who care about us). But maybe it’s because we have too high expectations of those around us.
We cannot expect people to always do what we want, and we cannot blame them when we are let down. We need to meet people where they are, which means bridging the gap between our expectations and their reality.
6. ‘You are neither less nor better than anyone else’
You are no less than anyone else. We’re all human, we’re all weird, we’re all capable of evil, and we’re all nervous about what others think. We are all connected in our own rare bird uniqueness and we are all doing the best we can.
Social media perpetuates the false idea that other people are more social, likeable, well-traveled, no matter what than you say researchers. But people often fail to write about their failures, giving the false impression that everything is hunky-dory all the time. (Spoiler alert: It isn’t.)
7. ‘Fear is more useful than it seems’
We misunderstand fear. We don’t like the feeling and feel it harmful. But if a wolf runs towards you with snarling teeth, the feeling of fear saves you from standing still and dying.
“Fear tells you that the current form of who you are is outdated and it’s time to change and upgrade to your next level of living.” explained psychologist Dr. Sherry Campbell. “When fear and anxiety present themselves, most of us tend to withdraw, and when we withdraw, we lose precious opportunities to grow.”
Similarly, when you feel fear in your everyday life, it signals to you the presence of something very significant. If you are afraid to stand on a stage to speak, that fear shows you what is worth doing, not what to avoid. There is an opportunity here: what you fear is always a door to a better life.
Alex Mathers is an author and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He is the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
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