A man got the shock of his life when he opened Facebook and discovered his sister had died.
Although he was aware that she was in the hospital and that her health had been deteriorating for several years, he couldn’t help but feel hurt that he and the rest of his siblings had to learn through social media and that their Baby Boomer father, who had been with his sister, had not told them before jumping on Facebook to post about her death.
Son says he felt hurt because his Boomer dad announced his sister’s death on Facebook before telling him in person
Venting his sadness and frustration on Redditthe man wrote: “My father responds to messages of condolence on Facebook, but has neglected to actually contact me (and my other siblings),” the man reported. “None of us fight or talk, so there’s no reason not to tell us.”
The heartbroken man believes his father is a “selfish Boomer who is more focused on getting attention on social media than alerting his family members about his daughter’s death and comforting them.”
“I didn’t know where else to vent and I didn’t write to seek sympathy; I just wanted to let it out without causing a family dispute,” the man admitted.
Other people thought it was strange and selfish that the man’s father didn’t tell him personally about his sister’s death
Guillaume Issaly / Unsplash+
“I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s absolutely wild how Boomers complain about kids being addicted to their phones and social media, while at the same time chasing power/involvement harder than any of my contemporaries,” one Redditor commented.
“I can’t believe he would post it on Facebook before telling his family. My wife died in December and I ended up posting it on Facebook after telling everyone in person,” another user shared.
“I’m so sorry for your loss. Boomers like to be first to deliver bad medical news to anyone who will listen, even strangers or very casual employees. It’s bizarre,” another user wrote.
For Boomers who overshare on social media, the boundaries are not always clear
Social media is part of our lives. There’s no way around it, but unfortunately some people – and this isn’t just limited to Boomers – choose to use it as a diary instead of sending birthday wishes and sharing funny cat videos.
But perhaps oversharing isn’t as sinister or narcissistic as many people think: A 2018 study found that people with social anxiety were more likely to overshare, using Facebook and Instagram as an outlet for difficult emotions.
However, what constitutes oversharing has changed dramatically in just a short time: A 2022 study further explored the phenomenon of oversharing and found that frequency was a factor in determining whether something was too personal to share or not.
In short, the more often a poster interacts with their online community, the less inhibited he or she is in sharing personal information. But there’s a catch: For those who share often and engage, sharing personal information online starts to seem completely normal, like talking to a friend one-on-one, and that’s where things get tricky, because some people don’t know where to draw the line.
However, when it comes to a death in the familythe line is pretty clear: immediate family members and close friends deserve a courtesy visit and the chance to say goodbye if possible, rather than opening social media one day and discovering that one of their loved ones is already gone.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango covering entertainment and news, self-love and relationships.
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