If you’ve ever been told that you’re intimidating at a time when you thought you were being sweet, you’re not alone. It’s impossible to see yourself through the eyes of others, so even if you don’t realize it, you can seem intimidating to others.
A person with a strong, confident personality can make people feel insecure without ever knowing it. So, how do you know if you have an intimidating personality? Mostly because of a few things that people instinctively do when they are around you, for better or for worse.
You might be accidentally intimidating when people around you do these things:
1. People avoid eye contact
A clear sign that someone is intimidated by you is a lack of eye contact. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and there’s no way they’re letting you peek into theirs. Someone who is intimidated by you may look at everything around them during the conversation except at you. They may pretend to be busy flipping through papers or looking at their phone – anything to avoid looking you in the eye.
2. People are afraid to say something around you
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If someone is intimidated by you, you might be the last person in the world they want to talk to right now. If you find that you are the only one bringing your thoughts and ideas to the conversation, others may be afraid to speak up. Or maybe you’re the kind of person who sucks in all the air in the room. When people avoid talking to you or seem unusually quiet in your presence, it may be a sign that they find you intimidating.
3. As a person do speak, their voice is almost inaudible
Self-confident people tend to project their voice when speaking. They are confident in their ideas and have no problem sharing them. When people are intimidated, they speak in a low voice. afraid of being rejected or think they are not smart enough to contribute. This can also come across as abnormally high-pitched voices, even squeaky and nervous, when people are intimidated by you.
4. People are generally nice around you
There are people who like to surround themselves with “yes” men and women. If someone you know agrees with everything you say or do, he or she may be intimidated by you. People come from different walks of life and have different socio-economic backgrounds, so there should of course always be diversity of opinion when discussing plans and concepts.
If no one ever objects to your suggestions and people always seem to agree with what you say, you may be intimidating; the intimidated person may be afraid to step on your toes with answers or objections that you may not approve of, or he or she may be extremely friendly in your presence.
5. People keep their distance from you
Who wants to be close to someone they’re afraid of? If you notice that someone keeps their distance when you are around them, you may have an intimidating personality. The intimidated person may stay on the other side of the room to avoid coming into contact with you, take the seat furthest from you, or retreat if he or she sees you coming. This is a clear sign that they are most likely intimidated by you.
6. People around you tend to apologize too much
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Everyone has met the “over-apologetic” at least once in their lives. They run into you and say sorry. They get in line in front of you and apologize. If you hear the word “sorry” too many times from someone, you may be perceived as intimidating. It’s normal to apologize when you hurt or offend people. But some trivial things don’t require an apology. If you apologize too much, speak up that someone is intimidated (and probably very anxious) when you are around.
7. People are nervous and restless around you
Have you ever assumed someone was socially awkward because his or her facial expressions were all over the place and he or she couldn’t seem to stay still during a conversation? It could be that they were just intimidated by your existence. Being around someone you fear can be extremely unnerving, and the fear this causes can cause the intimidated person to fidget in an attempt to avoid confronting their fear.
8. People around you seem paranoid
Insecure people can be paranoidespecially around someone who intimidates them. If a person you know always assumes you are out to get him or her or takes sides against him or her, you can intimidate him or her.
Maybe you’re a go-getter who always takes steps to improve your life, and they think you’ll take care of yourself no matter what. This can lead them to believe that you are against them, regardless of the actual circumstances. Harassment is highly subjective because what may be intimidating to one person may be inspiring to another.
If you think someone is intimidated by you and upon analysis decide that you are perpetuating that view with your actions, make the necessary changes to be more open and welcoming. On the other hand, if you don’t do anything that makes someone afraid or intimidated by you, it may be time for them to see a counselor or life coach to deal with their own insecurities.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She covers lifestyle, entertainment and news, as well as workplace navigation and social issues.
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